Once Upon the T.S.A.

What I wanted to say:

“Hey, listen guys… not all of us here fly every week!  The last time I was on an airliner was maybe two years ago!  We DON’T KNOW all your latest rules and regulations!  And best I can tell, there wasn’t a placard back there in the serpentine line telling me what to put where and how to undress for your pat-down search.  Sorry, but you guys didn’t tell me that my laptop had to be in it’s own little container and that my shoes shouldn’t have been in one at all!  Oh, yeah, my watch really was my mistake… I keep forgetting that Seiko actually uses real metal in their dive watches and I should have taken it off before your man there started pushing me around and feeling me up… OK… that’s my bad.  But the rest?  Come on folks… we know you have a hard job – an important job!  We want to help you – but didn’t you learn way back in school that to earn respect you have to GIVE respect?  Yelling at the top of your lungs in the line at your X-Ray machine asking “who exactly does this laptop which is IMPROPERLY placed in a bin with things on TOP of it belong to???”  Sorry guys, that’s just not helping…”

Yeah… that’s what I WANTED to say…  What I actually said?

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know that was a rule – yes, you’re absolutely right.  Thank you.  Yes, thank you SO MUCH!”

The difference in the two?  7 words – that’s all, just 7 words.  “You really want to make this flight?”

I feel safer already.

2 thoughts on “Once Upon the T.S.A.

  1. admin

    Yea Chris… well the problem was… I’d almost already let my mouth run away with me to the guy in line beside me. Hence the 7 word question. My “buddy” almost did himself in as well when he said, sorta under his breath, “This kind of crap happens all the time man, keep cool. Don’t forget they get minimum wage and the power goes to their heads all the time.”

    Such fun traveling! Makes me glad to be home.

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